You’re running late for work and needed to leave five minutes ago, but your child still hasn’t found his shoes. He keeps getting distracted–adding those finishing touches to a LEGO car, finding a lost baseball card, and making silly faces in the mirror. You feel on the verge of snapping.
There are dozens of reasons children struggle to follow directions. When it’s the child who’s not listening, it’s easy to say the child is to blame.
However, when parents improve how they give directions, they may be surprised to discover their child can follow directions.
Here are some ways to improve your communication so your child is more likely to follow directions the first time.
Tip 1: Gain Your Child’s Attention
There’s no point in giving directions if your child isn’t listening! Before you give directions, ensure you have their attention. Are they playing a video game, reading a book, or out of the room? Eye contact is the best way to ensure your child is listening, but a verbal acknowledgment will suffice if the child is out of the room.
Teaching your child to look at the person addressing them takes time and patience but is well worth the effort. Eye contact shows respect for the other person and is considered good manners.
Tip 2: Give Instructions One at a Time
Toddlers and young children can’t follow more than one direction at a time. It’s not until kindergarten that most children can consistently follow through with two or more step directions.
Have appropriate expectations for your child’s age. If they are younger, give one-step directions (e.g., “Go get your shoes,” and once this has been done, “Go get your jacket”). This will reduce confusion for your child and frustration for you!
If your child is in elementary school but still unable to follow multiple instructions, give one-step directions for a season. If your child needs one-step directions, this approach will help them achieve two-step (and more) directions faster. If your child is just being lazy, having to go back and forth will get tiresome after a while and they will decide it’s better to do everything all at once.
Tip 3: Watch Your Tone
You’re less likely to listen to your boss or superiors if they are yelling, speaking sarcastically, or otherwise annoyed with you. The same is true for your children!
Choosing to speak kindly, respectfully, and positively, not only increases your chances of first-time obedience but also benefits your relationship and models appropriate social interactions for your children.
Tip 4: Give Simple Choices
There are times when a parent must decide on behalf of the child, and other times when the child can choose. While these can be helpful for the child to express themselves and be independent, be careful not to give complicated choices. For example:
- Would you like to wear your dinosaur or astronaut shirt?
- Would you like strawberry or vanilla ice cream?
- Do you want to ride your scooter or bike?
Giving your child more than two or three choices can feel overwhelming and can result in an avoidable meltdown. Keep things simple!
Tip 5: Ensure Understanding
After you’ve given a direction, allow your child a few seconds to process the directions. Then, ask your child what they were. For instance:
- Where are we going in five minutes?
- What do you need to get from your room?
- When can you eat dessert?
These kinds of questions ensure your child understands the directions and expectations of those directions.
Following Directions at Crestwood Preschool Academy
At Crestwood Preschool Academy, we aspire to train attentive children who follow through on instructions. Our teachers are clear and kind when giving directions and have age-appropriate expectations and techniques for training children to be attentive listeners.